PASSWORD [4]

PASSWORD

Aaron Ansah-Agyeman

Season 1 Episode 21

Episode Title: Inside The Adada

Warning:

Restricted Content: 20 Years +

Coarse Language. Nudity. Sex. Violence.

aaronhaven.blogspot.com

It is very late in the night, almost dawn, when Kofi wakes up.

Because he is so heavy, Ato had left him lying on the floor and instead provided him with a pillow and covered him with a cloth.

Ato is in the bedroom, fast asleep, when he feels himself being shaken awake.

He sits up, and squints at the harsh light in the bedroom.

Kofi is standing there in his briefs looking at him with huge eyes.

ATO

(sleepily)

What the fuck, Kofi! Why did you wake me up?

KOFI

What am I doing in your room?

Ato glares at his friend, instantly angry.

ATO

Aboa, you're here to roast cockroaches and fry bofrot!

KOFI

(screaming)

WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING IN YOUR ROOM, ATO SEY?

Ato is taken aback, and then it dawns on him that sometimes when alcohol is mixed with sleeping tablets it results in memory lapses.

He holds up his hand and yawns hugely.

ATO

(gently)

Relax, bro. Yesterday, when we came back from Mallam Busanga's place we bought some kenkey-

KOFI

(relaxing)

Oh, yeah. We went with Corporal Tinga, the man with the bula like jet plane!

ATO

(giggling)

Yeah. Doctors put a ring on his bula matari otherwise if he puts all of it inside his wife it will go and hit her heart!

KOFI

(laughing)

No, no! It will go up her throat and come out at the top of her head like a horn!

ATO

(cackling with laughter)

Penis horn! Penis tumour!

They fall on the bed laughing, and then after a while they fall quiet.

KOFI

(sadly)

So in the morning we go and look for a mad woman! Oh, Awurade Nyankopon, eben asem nso koraa nyi?

ATO

(gently)

Relax, bro. It is sorted.

KOFI

Sorted? Sorted how? Have you got a mad woman?

ATO

Nah. One of my school mates works at the ADADA ASYLUM. It is filled with deranged women. He says he will arrange for one of them to be with you. Just one minute. You dip your penis in her and off we go to Mallam Busanga!

Kofi turns and looks at his friend, his face filled with an expression of  shock and filled with sudden hope and relief. Tears glisten in his eyes as he reaches out and squeezes Ato's hand.

KOFI

(tremulously)

Just like that? Really?

ATO

(gently)

You're sorted, man.

KOFI

(gratefully)

Thank you, man. Thank you very much.

ATO

It's cool. Now turn off the damn light and let’s get some sleep.

KOFI

Sure. But I gotta wee wee.

ATO

Yeah, go and do that. That's all you can do with your dick at the moment anyway, just for wee wee. It is as useless as a condom in a catholic priest’s pocket!

KOFI

(laughing)

Aboa ne ba!!

                                                *******

The ADADA ASYLUM is a huge, magnificent edifice located within the serene hills of the Akuapim Mountains.

The STAFF QUARTERS is set way back from the main asylum buildings, and at eleven o'clock Ato drives into the compound.

Nii Lin is waiting for them.

The place is well-lighted, but almost everybody is asleep.

Luckily, Nii Lin is not married, and he let's them into his chamber-and-hall quarters.

It is surprisingly well-furnished.

Nii is slim and tall, handsome in a rather rakish sort of way. He is down to earth, and he wastes no time in cracking jokes about Kofi's condition, which invariably lightens up Kofi's mood and helps to still his nervousness.

Ato and Nii soon begin to talk about their old school, and Kofi tries to watch a Russell Crowe movie.

The two old friends sleep, but Kofi is too nervous to sleep.

At exactly half past midnight Nii wakes up and shakes Ato awake.

NII LIN

Here's the plan. I paid some of the night crew guys, and they have taken the woman to one of the new wards, so there are not many people around there. The security guy on that stretch has also been paid.

KOFI

(nervously)

Thank you, Nii. I'll settle all the bills with more, bro.

NII LIN

Right. But you have to be quick, though. Sometimes the Director pays surprise visits at dawn. Let's hope today is not one of those days. Secondly, some of the security chaps and some staff members are really strict, and if we're caught it'll be nasty. So just go in there, do your shit, and come out as quickly as possible.

ATO

Yeah. It won't take more than a minute.

NII LIN

I paid one of the female nurses to bathe the woman and put some lubricant inside her crevice so you won't have much difficulty putting your penis into her, Kofi. We've also sedated her, so she's out cold.

KOFI

Thanks, thanks. I'm so grateful!

Nii takes them down a path through some shrubbery to a small gate in the wall of the edifice.

A security man in dark brown khaki opens the gate from inside.

The premises is covered with lush green lawns, well-structured buildings, demarcated paths and spaces, and well-lit.

Kofi is surprised at how beautiful it all is.

NII LIN

(whispering)

We're going to the D-BLOCK. It is a new block and it houses the most violent and totally insane patients. We took the woman there because the Director is scared of the patients in D-BLOCK and never go there at night.

They wall along the walls in the shadows so that the security cameras will not pick them up. 

Finally, they come to another gate.

It is being manned by two armed men who opens it from the inside.

D-BLOCK is not so clean and well-lighted like the other section of the asylum.

It looms in the darkness, huge and foreboding.

Nii Lin takes them up a series of stairs until they come to a dimly-lit landing.

He puts a hand to his lips as they walk across a corridor that has cell-like rooms on both sides.

Most of them are unoccupied, but a few have sleeping patients in them.

Finally, they come to one of the cells, and see a gigantic man standing just near the gates.

The metallic cell doors are secured tightly with huge iron padlocks.

The scene inside the cell looks very chaotic indeed.

The bed is overturned and the floor is littered with paper, tissue, trays, pans, food left-overs and a whole lot of dirty things.

The man standing just inside the cell is indeed a mountain of a man. He is wearing only a pair of dirty jeans shorts. He is wearing a sort of black hat, and his arms and chest are as huge as that of a caveman.

His arms has thick veins standing out angrily, and his face is dark with fury! He is muscle bound, and it is quite evident that he can crush a skull with just one blow!

The moment Nii Lin sees the giant of a man inside the cell he suddenly rushes over to the other side of the corridor with great fear and stands staring at the man with incredible terror on his face.

ATO

(fearfully)

Wetin be the matter, Nii?

Nii points a trembling finger at the giant in the cell.

NII LIN

Baluu is awake! Dear God, Baluu is awake! No, no, no!

Season 1 Episode 22

Episode Title: Doing The Needful

Warning:

Restricted Content: 20 Years +

Coarse Language. Nudity. Sex. Violence.

aaronhaven.blogspot.com

 

ATO

(carefully)

And so? He's inside a padlocked cell!

Nii Lin licks his lips rapidly.

NII LIN

You don't know Baluu! He is so violent! Oh, Lord! They should have sedated him, or put him in a strait jacket!

KOFI

(fearfully)

Is he dangerous?

NII LIN

(trembling)

Dangerous? He's a killer! He used to be a professional martial artist. He went crazy when he found his wife making love to his best friend! He killed both of them with his bare hands. In here he has fatally maimed three inmates, two security personnel and one nurse, not counting the others he has injured to minor extents. That is why they brought him to the D-BLOCK. None of the nurses, doctors or security guards can go near him. They use special weapons to fire sedative darts at him to make him weak and sleepy before anybody can go near him. He’s sedated each night and put in a strait jacket. If he comes out now we're dead! He’ll break our bones! He’ll kill us all!

ATO

C'mon, bro. Get a hold of yourself! These are giant padlocks, solid cast iron! Surely he cannot get out.

NII LIN

(giggling nervously)

Yeah, yeah, maybe you're right! Come on, guys.

The inmate called BALUU glares at them with murderous eyes from within his cell, but he makes no attempt to move as they walk past and head towards the end of the corridor.

Finally, they come to a closed door with a glass pane fixed just on its upper portion so that they can look into the room beyond.

Nii Lin knocks, and the door is opened by a young woman.

She is thin and bony with a sharp, hard face.

She is wearing a nurse's  outfit, and her hard eyes drill into Kofi and Ato.

The room within is bare save for a single bed.

A woman is lying on the bed, and she seems to be asleep. Her face is turned towards the wall, and her arms are folded across her chest.

Her legs are apart, and a clean white sheet is covering her.

There is a single bulb burning up in the ceiling.

Beyond her is another room with an open door, probably leading to a washroom.

The nurse looks at Nii Lin.

NURSE

Yes, balance of my money!

NII LIN

Will give it to you when we get to the staff quarters, Akosua.

NURSE

(viciously)

For where? My friend don't anger me! Give me the balance.

NII LIN

I'll give it to you, Akosua, when we get back. We need to be quick! Baluu is awake!

The moment Akosua hears that Baluu is awake she turns quickly and flees down the corridor in the opposite direction, away from Baluu's cell, going down the stairs with incredible speed, her face filled with indescribable horror.

Kofi and Ato look at each other with sudden fear.

ATO

This Baluu guy must be very deadly!

NII LIN

(shakily)

He’s a devil incarnate, my paddy! Kofi, go in there and do your thing. We'll wait here!

Kofi nods.

He takes out the small bottle of medicine Mallam Busanga had given him.

He presses a little into his palm, pulls down his trousers and spreads the liquid over his genitals.

Next he pumps a mouthful of the bitter, disgusting medicine into his mouth and swallows.

He enters the room.

He walks towards the sedated mad woman.

Kofi is so nervous and scared.

He licks his lips as he slowly advances to the bed.

He lifts the cloth off the woman's lower body.

He glances up at her, expecting her to wake up, but the sedative is holding her strongly under.

She is elderly, but quite beautiful.

This makes Kofi very sad indeed.

This is not something he would have done in a million years, and he is sickened to his stomach with himself.

KOFI

(hoarsely)

I'm so sorry, madam! So very, very sorry! Please forgive me!

He folds the cloth back neatly over the woman's lower body.

Her genitals has been shaved, and it is bare and nice, shining with whatever lubricant the nurse had used on her.

Kofi unzips again and takes out his flaccid member.

He gets unto the bed and shuts his eyes tightly as tears fall down his cheeks.

He feels like a creep, like a dirty, dirty creep who should be shot.

Very carefully he positions himself on top of the woman, takes his flaccid member, and leans forward and dips it into her slippery vulva. It is difficult because he is so soft. He pries the woman’s thighs further apart with his knees, and then he holds his penis tightly and pushes its head and then its entire flaccid package into the woman’s chut.

Out in the corridor there is a sudden shearing sound of metal being tortured and pulled apart.

Nii Lin, who has been staring down the corridor all along, takes a sudden step back with terror!

NII LIN

(terrified)

Oh, no! Baluu! Baluu dey come!

ATO

Don't be silly, my paddy! He no go fit break the padlocks!

The harsh metal sounds come again!

Suddenly a huge, thick leg steps through the iron bars!

It is Baluu's leg!

The giant is pulling the bars of the cell apart like plastic so that he can step through.

NII LIN

(shouting)

I TOLD YOU! BALUUUUU!!

He begins to take frantic steps towards the stairs.

ATO

(scared)

Wait, wait, wait, man! You mean e dey force the iron bars apart?

NII LIN

(eyes bulging with fear)

You don’t know that man! Make we go, chale! E go kill we all!

ATO

(frantic)

What about Kofi?

NII LIN

We for leave am, man! It's too late! Baluu go kill we!

ATO

No, no, man! Hey, we for do some-

He stops speaking because with a final ripping sound of metal he sees that Baluu's body is now coming out, and a moment later the giant of a man is suddenly standing in the corridor.

Without another word Nii Lin turns and runs away down the stairs at the end of the corridor.

Ato and the giant look at each other.

Baluu suddenly reaches behind him, and a moment later Ato sees the longest, ugliest knife in the giant's hand!

Trembling with fear, Ato sees that the key to the door Kofi is in is still in the lock.

With trembling fingers he reaches out and locks the door on Kofi, and then he removes the key just as Baluu comes racing down the corridor with a murderous yell, his face maddened and insane, pointing the huge knife at Ato!

Ato turns, heart pounding, and flees down the corridor after Nii Lin!

Baluu chases after Ato, but when he gets to the door he stops suddenly.

He walks towards it and stares through the glass panel and sees Kofi crouched on top of the woman.

Baluu steps back, raises his right leg, and crashes it into the door, and it flies off its hinges!

Kofi, who has been able to push his penis all the way into the woman now, looks over his shoulder with sudden apprehension, and sees the gigantic man standing there with a murderous look on his face and a wicked knife in his hand.

Kofi begins to tremble violently.

He knows he is dead!

He almost collapses on top of the woman with terror.

Baluu walks forward slowly and stops.

His face is filled with righteous anger as he stares at Kofi's buttocks.

BALUU

(gruffly)

Ei, no be small. Are you giving her bula matari?

Kofi is trembling as he shakes his head numbly.

Baluu suddenly steps forward and slaps Kofi so hard across his naked buttocks that Kofi is convinced his buttocks has shifted permanently.

The pain of the slap brings great tears to Kofi's eyes!

Baluu grabs Kofi by the scruff of the neck, lifts him up bodily, and throws him across the room.

Kofi smashes into the wall face first, and tastes blood in his nose and mouth instantly.

He lies on the floor with his trousers around his ankles.

He holds his hands up defensively as Baluu bears down on him.


Season 1 Episode 23

Episode Title: Baluu

Warning:

Restricted Content: 20 Years +

Coarse Language. Nudity. Sex. Violence.

aaronhaven.blogspot.com

KOFI

(incoherently)

I'm not making love to her! I swear to God I'm not! I don't even have an erection, please, look! Please, please don’t hurt me, please, I beg of you! I just brushed her!

BALUU

(furiously)

Ei, no be small. Why is there frytol on your bula?

KOFI

(confused)

Frytol? Where? Please?

Baluu points at Kofi’s lavde with his knife.

BALUU

Ei, no be small. There, there, on your bula, frytol shining on your bula like twinkle twinkle little stars how I wonder what you are, up above the world so high, like a diamond in the skyyyyyy!

Kofi looks down and sees his dick and lower body smeared with the lubricant the nurse had used.

KOFI

(moaning)

That's not Frytol, please! It's a lubricant!

BALUU

Ei, no be small. Are you also calling me crazy?

KOFI

No, no, please! You're not crazy!

BALUU

Ei, no be small. You put frytol on your bula matari and you're giving Aunt Korkor atopa lobolobo!

KOFI

Yes, yes, I put frytol on my bula, but please I'm not sleeping with her, please. I just dipped into her...oh, Lord!

BALUU

(nodding)

Ei, no be small. My paddy, once your bula enter Aunt Korkor's toto, na lobolobo ooo, no be dipping! I'm going to cut out your eyes, I swear!

KOFI

(terrified)

Oh, no! No, no! You can't do that!

The giant reaches down and takes Kofi by the neck and draws him up.

Kofi opens his mouth to speak and the giant hits him across the face with the back of his hand, throwing Kofi back against the wall.

BALUU

Ei, no be small. Atopa lobolobo man!

He raises his knife to cut open Kofi's throat!

KOFI

(almost fainting)

No, no! Please don’t do that! You can't kill me!

BALUU

(suddenly confused)

Ei, no be small. Why can't I kill you?

And suddenly it dawns on Kofi that this man is not a normal man, he is mentally-challenged, and maybe the only way out of this is to do something unusual.

KOFI

Because I'm not what I am!

Baluu grins suddenly, and begins to chuckle.

BALUU

Ei, no be small. You don't even know who you are and you're humping Aunt Korkor! Maaaaaaad boy!

He swings the knife suddenly, and Kofi jumps back with a cry of horror, and his back hits the wall!

He scrambles away along the wall!

Baluu comes after him with leisurely strides.

He raises the wicked knife again.

KOFI

(screaming)

I'M NOT WHAT I AM! I AM GOD! I AM A GOD!

Baluu stops and cocks his head to one side and looks at Kofi with sudden shock.

BALUU

(shocked)

Ei, no be small. Are you God?

KOFI

(whimpering)

I am a god!

BALUU

Ei, no be small. So you're the God that gives out flatulence on us  and call it thunder, then you urinate on us and call it rain? 

KOFI

(scared, horrified)

What?

BALUU

(laughing)

Ei, no be small. I don't think you're God. God, the oluman shingo de shingo never asks questions oooo!

He kicks out suddenly into Kofi's stomach, and Kofi doubles over and vomits with the agonizing pain! 

A savage backhand again flings Kofi over, making him clash into the bed that the woman is lying on.

He lies on the floor, dazed and bruised, and acutely aware that he has come very close to losing his life!

KOFI

(croaking)

I'm the President of Ghana! Stop it right this instant!

Baluu cocks his head again and looks at Kofi with sudden shock.

BALUU

Ei, no be small. The original Atopa President. So narrate the presidential oath.

KOFI

(panting)

No, no, no, no! Please! I've... I've forgotten the oath, please.

Baluu points the knife at Kofi, confused.

BALUU

Ei, no be small. A president that forgets?

KOFI

(hoarsely)

I’m President Kofi Kuntukununku. And I’m here to set you free!

BALUU

Ei, no be small. A president that goes round with frytol on bula fucking mad women. Oh, Africa, we're dead. As for this president dier, walahi, he needs to die o!

He lunges forward suddenly and slashes with the knife savagely, and it cuts across Kofi's arm, cutting the skin and drawing blood.

Kofi feels the pain, and feels the warm blood running down his arm.

He grabs his arm and feels the blood running between his fingers,

KOFI

(desperately, weeping)

Stop it this instant! Oh, please! I’m not the President, please! I'm God's son!

BALUU

Ei, no be small. Akwasi Jesus. Do you think I'm a fool? Did you see Jesus running around with frytol on his bula matari and chopping alalagolaa?

Baluu throws a straight punch that almost tears Kofi's head off.

Kofi falls down, dazed, almost passing out, and sees Baluu raising the knife to strike through his head.

KOFI

(weakly)

You can't kill me, Baluu! I'm already dead! I'm a ghost!

Baluu kneels down and delivers three hefty slaps to Kofi’s face with unbridled rage.

BALUU

Ei, no be small. Osaman! Osaman hwea! Osaman kanto! Osaman osanini! Return to the grave, osaman tipoli, osaman atopa!! I don't think ghosts go round with frytol on their bula matari chopping mad women. Ei, no be small, but you koraa have you seen osaman with bula before?

The room is spinning.

Kofi can feel blood pouring down his face and nose. He feels the pain of the knife wound on his arm.

He is so weak. He is almost passing out, and fear crystallizes in his heart, dragging him into paralyzing horror. Dimly he is aware of Baluu lifting the knife once again, ready to slam it down into his heart.

KOFI

I saw your wife, Baluu! I saw her and your best friend!

And at that Baluu suddenly screeches!

He drops the knife and puts four fingers of his left hand into his mouth.

He is suddenly cowering with great fury, his eyes almost popping out as he glares at Kofi with terror!

BALUU

(terrified)

Eiiiiii, no be smaaaaallllll!! Yei! Yikes! Bontonner shaka shaka menla! Blood of Jesus! Holy Spirit firewood! You saw Ama Kerosene? Ama Adwen Fi, Ama Okum Nipa? You saw her? Where? Where? And she was with Kwabena Bodamfo, Kwabena Yonko Bad? Where, where?

Kofi points weakly towards the open bathroom beyond the bed on which the woman is lying.

KOFI

In there, Baluu. The two of them are in there!

BALUU

(weepily)

Eiiiii, no be smaaaaaaallllll!! What are they doing? What is Ama Etwe Deep doing with Kwabena Yonko Bad?

KOFI

Kwabena is giving Ama, your wife... alagolaaaaa!!!

Baluu lets out a crazed yell, tightening up his wrists and neck and shoulders as he screams and rushes blindly into the bathroom.

BALUU

EIIIIII, NO BE SMAAAAALLLLLL!!! I WILL KILL THOSE TWO TODAY! I WILL DEZONE THEM TODAY, AMA AND KWABENA! BAD, BAD, BAD BETRAYERS!!

Kofi moves weakly towards the door after Baluu and then he pulls it shut and turns the key in the lock.

He can hear Baluu still screaming and punching the walls of the bathroom. He rips the Water Closet tank off the wall and throws it across the room.

He is screaming as he rips the shower curtain off and then he hurls himself against the wall, screaming and punching the tiles.

He kicks at the tap, breaking it, and then he lunges and lands on the water closet bowl, breaking it to smithereens.

Kofi, weeping, sore, bleeding, pulls up his trousers, goes out, and flees down the corridor with the maddened screams of Baluu still in his ears.

He knows that he has come very close to death, and it sets a deep pain into his heart.

His life is sordid! He is now cavorting with the devil, and he knows that if something doesn’t happen soon, things will definitely get darker!

He knows he has never come so close to death!
He could've died inside that room with a sedated insane woman on the bed, and his trousers around his knees with his head cut off or his intestines spilling out. 

It had been a near-death experience to him!

KOFI

Oh, Lord, my God! What is all this? What is happening to me? Why am I in such a dirty mire? Please save me, Father! Please save me!!!
 

Season 1 Episode 24

Episode Title: Back To Busanga

Warning:

Restricted Content: 20 Years +

Coarse Language. Nudity. Sex. Violence.

aaronhaven.blogspot.com

When Kofi gets to the ground level he sees an agitated Ato pacing, fear and horror on his face.

When he sees Kofi he runs forward and embraces him hard.

Nii quickly closes and locks the door leading to D-Block, and his face is terrified with the depths of his horror.

NII LIN

Oh, thank God! Thank God you’re okay, man!!

ATO

Oh, oh, oh! You made it! So sorry, man, so sorry! Didn't mean to leave you but that guy was crazy! Forgive me, man!

KOFI

(tremulously)

It's okay. Not holding anything against you. Would've done the same!

ATO

Hell no, no, no, no! You would've stayed to help me out!

KOFI

(subdued)

It's okay, man. I’m cool.

NII LIN

(scared)

Let's get going, guys! All that noise might've woken some people. Let's get out of here first, and then I'll know what to do! Come on, come on, you're bleeding, Kofi! Let's go and let me get one of the nurses to stitch that cut, Kofi, otherwise you'll bleed to death!

ATO

Jeez, that Baluu cut you? What happened, rasta?

KOFI

(shakily)

I’ll tell you on the way, bro. At least, we accomplished what we came to do. I was able to dip a mad woman. Let’s get out of here, man. I feel like I just died and resurrected!

Almost an hour later, they begin the return journey to Accra.

Nurse Akosua had stitched the ugly gash on KOfi's arm where Baluu had cut him.

Now Kofi is lying in the back seat with a sad smile on his face.

Ato is driving carefully because of the heavy fog on the mountains. He is hunched over the steering-wheel.

He slots a CD into the player, and soon the cool soothing sounds of gospel music fills the car.

ATO

(smiling)

Quite some adventure, right, bro?

KOFI

(sighing)

Terrible, chale, terrible! That Baluu. He almost killed me, bro!

ATO

(chuckling)

That Baluu nigga is crazy, man, just crazy! Heeerh! Shit, how did you get away from him anyway?

KOFI

(softly)

Told him I saw his wife making love to his best friend inside the washroom! He ran into the washroom and I locked the door. Chale, you should’ve seen the way he was attacking the walls!  He could've killed me!

Ato looks at his friend miserably.

ATO

Sorry, bro. Really sorry. I feel kinda hungry, though. Let's stop somewhere for a little breakfast.

KOFI

Yeah, yeah, bro. Listen, Ato, thanks for everything, okay? You've been a real brother. I don't know what I would've done without you.

ATO

(smiling)

What the dilly-dilly-dilly-dilly-yooooooo! It's all good, brother!

KOFI

(haltingly)

I was able to dip the woman, bro, followed everything to the letter. Do you think maybe we should go to Accra first, you know, so that I try with Akweley whether it will work?

ATO

(scowling)

No, my paddy, no! I don't trust those Busanga-Busanga people koraa! Let's go to the shrine, and pay up so that we know we have finished everything. Then tonight you can have Akweley and pound her till her toto removes!

They burst into raucous laughter, and just then Kofi's phone rings.

It is Akweley.

He picks the call.

KOFI

(tenderly)

Ohhhhh, my sunshine! You don't know how much I've missed you!

AKWELEY

(icily)

K.K. what's wrong? Are you avoiding me? You promised to see me yesterday when you leave the hospital, and that's it! You put your phone off, and you've not even bothered to call me today to check up on me!

KOFI

(remorsefully)

Ohh, my darling, my sweetheart! Please, please forgive me, okay? I didn't want to bother you last night. The truth is that I was also so very sick! Very ugly stomach ache that I couldn't even control. I was admitted to the hospital last night, dear. I received three infusions!

AKWELEY

(concerned)

Oh, dear, dear, dear! Which hospital? I'm on my way over right now!

KOFI

I've been discharged, love. Ato is taking me home. Don't worry, you'll see me this evening, dear. I wanna kiss you and make love to you so hard that your thing will just get removed and fixed on my thing!

AKWELEY

(laughing)

Ashawo awosha man! Well hurry up! You've put me in heat, love! Can't wait to have you in me! Love you so much! Kisses, mwaaah, mwaah, mwaaaaaah!

KOFI

Awwwwww! Mwaaaaaah! I'll see you soon!

As Kofi is speaking another call comes through, and as he glances at the screen he sees that it is Sajili.

He cuts off the call to Akweley quickly and picks the call.

SAJILI

(weakly)

Hey. Where are you?

KOFI

(coldly)

What do you want?

SAJILI

(very weakly)

Please... Kofi! Come to the DIDI-FLON CLINIC immediately, please!

KOFI

(angrily)

Why? What do you want, Saj?

SAJILI

(weeping)

I'm on admission, my love! Please come and visit me... quickly, I beg of you!

Kofi cuts the call with an angry sound.

ATO

The Indian horror?

KOFI

Yep. Says she's on admission at the DIDI-FLON. Wants to see me!

ATO

Heeeeeeeerh! This girl get powers! I'm sure she knows you broke her spell! She wants to trap you and do another spell! Kooooooshiaaa like that!

KOFI

(worried)

She sounded genuinely sick, bro.

ATO

Tweeaa! Shun am, my paddy! Na act! Julius Ceaser drama group queen! Shun e matter! To Busanga we go! Today you'll receive your bula tenten back, and slush some pussy... sweet sweet tuuuuushy!

KOFI

(worried)

She sounded bad, bro. Do you remember the mallam saying something about Sajili being covered by a dark cloud or something like that? She sounded bad, man!

ATO

(softly)

Stop thinking about Indians now, bro. Priorities, man. We go to the Busanga, you get your healing, then go to Akweley and hammer a round, boy, pussy time!

KOFI

(laughing)

I swear! I'll make the pussy go pheeee, pheeee, pheeeee!! Kpa, kpa, kpa!

ATO

(roaring with laughter)

You know it! You know it! Kpa, kpa, kpa, kpa, bla K, bla K, bla K! Pussy King, man, pussy champion!

About two hours later they come to Mallam Busanga's shrine.

Like the last time they undress and walk the rest of the way to the shrine.

KOFI

Chale, it seems like the healing worked paa o! My langalanga is longer than usual!

Ato turns and looks at Kofi's penis.

ATO

(giggling)

Hehehehehe! Langalanga go chop weed today!

KOFI

(laughing)

I tell you, brother. Ten rounds straight, no stopping! All about the kpa kpa kpa kpa kpa kpa!

ATO

(laughing)

Bla K, Bla K, Bla K! Oooooooh Bossu!


Season 1 Episode 25

Episode Title: The Wrong Kind Of Mad

Warning:

Restricted Content: 20 Years +

Coarse Language. Nudity. Sex. Violence.

aaronhaven.blogspot.com

They are taken to the shed where Mallam Busanga and his attendant are waiting.

Mallam Busanga pops some seeds into his mouth and chews slowly, and then he lifts a black calabash and spits a dirty brown liquid into it.

He then sits back and looks at them sombrely with his rheumy eyes. He speaks to his attendant slowly.

The attendant listens, and then a huge grin splits his face as he looks at Kofi with gloating disdain.

ATTENDANT

Tor, tor, tor! You welcom agin. Ah, hm, tor, tor! Mallam Busanga, he say yew fooooool biiiiiig!

ATO

(stunned, angry)

What? What did you say? What the fuck’s the matter with you?

KOFI

(scared)

Take it easy, Ato. Let's listen. Please, why is Mallam saying we’re big fools?

The Mallam speaks for a few minutes again, and once more a huge grin splits the attendant's face.

ATTENDANT

Mallam Busanga, he say he tell yew to go fuck fuck mad womin! Tor, tor, tor, to go puuuut penisa for vaginant of mad womin but yew deeednt!

KOFI

(tearful)

Oh, but I did! I did it just this dawn! I dipped my penis into a mad woman's thing, just as he instructed. I put the medicine on it and swallowed some and then I dipped into her vulva for a minute, just like he said!

The attendant whispers to the Mallam.

Ato draws near to Kofi and whispers to him.

ATO

Shit! This guy must be fake, motherfucker! What the fuck is the meaning of this, huh?

The attendant looks at them.

ATTENDANT

Tor, tor, tor! Mallam Busanga, he say the womin yew fuck fuck is not mad womin!

ATO

(exploding)

What do you mean by she is not a mad woman? She was a mad woman!

ATTENDANT

Tor! Tor! Mallam Busanga, he say the womin yew fuck fuck is white peoples mad womin! He deeednt tell yew to go and fuck fuck mad womin from some mad house! Tor, tor, tor! That mad womin is in hospeetal, takeen white mans medicines and she is jes not mad womin!

ATO

(angry)

What the fuck are you talking about now?

KOFI

(horrified)

He means the woman is in an asylum receiving treatment, bro!

ATTENDANT

(elated)

Yays! Yays! Tooooooor! Na that womin not mad womin! When Mallam Busanga say fuck fuck mad womin, he meansa mad womin from street, ahaaaa! Vely vely vely mad womin who eat bola and rubbish and shit theens, steeenkeen vely steeenkeen mad womin weeth very bushy and bad steenkeen vaginant! That is mad womin! The womin yew go fuck fuck is not mad womin, no, no, no, no! Mad womin is the one crazy in street shouteen kohaaa, kohaaa, kohaaa! Toooor, that is mad womin!

KOFI

(shattered, bitterly)

Oh, Lord, oh Lord! They're saying the woman from the asylum is not a mad woman! They wanted me to take a stinking, really mad woman on the street and dip my penis in her! A crazy mad woman in the streets, not one from the asylum!

ATO

(furious)

What's the difference? Mad is mad! So are they saying all that we did means nothing?

ATTENDANT

Tor, tor, tor, tooooor! Yew waste your forkeeeen time! Kai! So yew not know mad womin? Many nakid and derty, mad womin on the streeta and yew go for white-man mad womin? Yew foooool!!

Kofi and Ato look at each other with abject misery!

It has all been for nothing?

They have wasted their time?

He has been cut by Baluu for nothing?

He should have taken a mad woman on the street and not one from the asylum?

KOFI

Oh, crap! This is not fair, Busanga! This is not fair at all!

ATO

(furiously)

But why didn't you tell us we need a mad woman from the street and not one from an asylum? You fucking deceivers! You should’ve been more specific! Do you know what we went through to have that woman, how much we spent? What the fuck is this shit?

ATTENDANT

Yew fooooool! Mad womin in asyloom is called PATIENT! Mallam Busanga deeednt ask yew to go fuck fuck a PATIENT! Mad womin is mad womin not PATIENT! You go fuck fuck hospiteel patient and you teeenk you fuck fuck mad womin, you fooool!

Ato puts an arm across Kofi's shoulders as he cries silently, suddenly unable to save his iron control.

Ato is stunned, lost for words for a moment.

This is definitely turning out to be a nightmare.

ATO

(gently)

So what do we do now, Mallam, please?

The Mallam speaks to the attendant quickly.

ATTENDANT

Tor, tor, tor! Mallam Busanga, he say the womin who put curse on the mans penisa is in hospiteel now now!

Kofi looks up with sudden shock.

KOFI

(stunned)

How did you know Sajili is in hospital? Yes, she called me and said she's in hospital.

ATTENDANT

Yays, yays! Mallam Busanga, he see everytin and know everytin! Mallam Busanga, he say only thing left to do now is to put your penisa into the vaginant of this woman! Mallam Busanga, he say you shoulda put the mediciiin on your penisa and drink some again and then dip it into the vaginant of the woman!

KOFI

Dip into Sajili? But she won't allow me!

The attendant speaks for a moment with the mallam.

He then turns and faces them.

ATTENDANT

Mallam Busanga, he say the womin is deed now!

KOFI

(hoarsely)

What? What woman, Sajili? She is deed? What deed?

ATTENDANT

Deed, deed, deed! Ghosta deed!

And then it sinks in with terrible numbness.

ATO

Oh, Jesus!

KOFI

(almost passing out)

You mean dead? Sajili is dead? No, no, no, no! Please, please, master Busanga, please no! She can't die! Please do something, please!

ATTENDANT

No, no, no! Mallam Busanga, he say the womin is deed! When Mallam Busanga say she is deed, then she is deed!

KOFI

(shouting)

No! She can't die! Why, oh why? She's a strong woman! There was no sign that she was sick or she wasn't feeling well! She must be on admission, but not dead! She can't be dead!

ATTENDANT

(angrily)

Are you deeef? You must be deeef! The womin is deeeeeed!!

ATO

(shocked)

Calm down, Kofi! Please calm down. Hey, please, so what happens right now that you're saying the woman is dead? Does it mean the password curse is broken?

The attendant speaks to Mallam Busanga for some time, and then he turns and smiles.

ATTENDANT

Mallam Busanga, he say the curse is there, and yew have just three awars to puuuuta penisa into vaginant of deed womin or you be impotint foreva la!

ATO

Oh, no! You mean Kofi has just three hours to dip his penis into the dead Sajili, if indeed she is dead? And if he doesn’t Kofi will be impotent for life?

ATTENDANT

Tor, tor, tor! She is deed! If Mallam Busanga say she is deed, then she is deed! And the bad curse she put on this man will continue forever if this man deeednt puuuta his penisa into her vaginant in three awars!

KOFI

(perplexed, horrified)

But that's impossible! That's terrible! Mad woman, fine, God knows that was bad enough! But how can I put my damn dick inside a dead woman? What is this? By now she will be in the mortuary! Please, please, please, don't do this! I beg of you, Mallam, please do something about it! First bodamfo twe, now India funu twe! Oh, oh, dear, Lord!!

Mallam Busanga shakes his head sadly, and then reaches for the calabash and spits into it again.

He speaks softly, and the attendant turns to Kofi and speaks elatedly.

Season 1 Episode 26

Episode Title: A Room Of Corpses

Warning:

Restricted Content: 20 Years +

Coarse Language. Nudity. Sex. Violence.

aaronhaven.blogspot.com

ATTENDANT

Mallam Busanga, he say notheeen can be done! Three awars! Just three awars! Yew jes need to push your penisa into her vaginant once, and poooom, curse break at once, tor, tor, tooooor!

And that is when Kofi and Ato leave the shrine and drive furiously back to Accra, going to the DIDI-FLON CLINIC to make sure that what the Mallam said is true!

Kofi remembers how weak Sajili had sounded on the phone!

KOFI

Oh, no, no, no! Sajili, no! Don't do this to me! Don’t die on me, please!

His life is becoming messier, and Kofi Kuntu is suddenly very afraid!

He tries to stop himself, but he cannot, and the tears flow down his cheeks heedlessly.

Ato, driving, casts concerned looks at his friend, and suddenly he begins to laugh, and this makes Kofi look at him with surprise.

ATO

(chuckling)

I don't understand this, bro! All this trouble, for what? We've been in an asylum to put your dipstick into a mad woman, but we're told she is not a mad woman! We should've found a real stinking mad woman on the streets! You could've died when Baluu attacked you! Now look, if it is indeed true that Sajili has died, then you're going to find a way to fuck her corpse, otherwise she takes the password to the grave! Look at the indignity of walking naked to the shrine! All for what? All for the small tonga man must blow! It's madness! Because of a small hole that you must enter once in a while, look at how we're suffering! What madness is this?

And then Kofi begins to chuckle as it also hits him, and a moment later the two friends begin to laugh uproariously!

KOFI

All because of tonga oo, brother! Hmmmm!

His melancholic demeanour returned, though, as soon as they drive through the main gates of the clinic.

The DIDI-FLON CLINIC is small, compared to other hospitals, but it is a good and expensive clinic.

Manned mostly by foreign doctors and experts, it is one of the most expensive healthcare givers in the country.

When Ato turns into the main courtyard of the hospital, Kofi sees Sajili's aunt, the one who owns the restaurant, walking towards a white car with her husband behind her.

KOFI

Damn! Stop the car, buddy! That's Sajili's aunt! Gotta talk to her!

Ato stomps on the break, and Kofi is thrown forward violently but the seat-belt restrains him.

ATO

Yeah, go speak to her. Find out if Sajili is okay and which ward she is in!

Kofi gets out of the car and runs towards the couple.

The woman, GEETA PRAKASH, sees him and stops suddenly.

She is obviously very disturbed, and she has great tears in her eyes.

Kofi is a regular costumer at their restaurant, and she knows he is very close to Sajili. She whispers something to her husband and then walks forward rapidly to meet Kofi.

AUNT GEETA

(wailing)

Oh, oh, oh, Fiko-Fiko! Saji is dead, oh, oh, Krishna! Saji! She is dead, Saji!

Kofi is stunned! Sajili is really dead!

She collapses against Kofi, and he holds her tightly as he feels the coldness spreading through him, his whole body going numb with the violence of his shock.

KOFI

(weeping uncontrollably)

But how can that be? She spoke to me this morning! I saw her a couple of days ago! Oh, Saj, how can this be possible?

AUNT GEETA

Oh, Fiko! Fiko! Fiko-Fiko! Her heart, it was very diseased! The doctors told us many months ago that Saji can die any moment! She has known she will die! We all knew, but it is still so painful! So tragic!

KOFI

Oh, my God! She never told me she was terminally ill. She promised to marry me!

AUNT GEETA

Oh, Fiko, Fiko! Fiko-Fiko! She didn't want to hurt you! Yes, she told me the two of you are going to get married. She wanted to live long enough to go to India with you to see her parents and family, and get pregnant for you, but alas, she died this morning, shortly after speaking to you! She told me to tell you she was so sorry and that you should forgive her!

KOFI

Oh, Lord! Oh, Lord! Where's she now, please? I don't believe this! I have to pay my last respects to her!

AUNT GEETA

Oh, her body was taken to the morgue, for now! Oh, there's one of the nurses! Come, let me tell him to take you to see the body!

Kofi cannot believe his luck!

Aunt Geeta introduces him to the nurse, but Kofi is barely listening!

The understanding nurse agrees to take him to see the body, but he asks Kofi to wait a while, he will be with him soon.

Kofi nods and leads Aunt Geeta back to her car.

The woman drives away with her husband, still crying, and then Ato appears from around the corner.

ATO

(desperately)

Hey, how did it go, bro? She really dead?

KOFI

(agitated)

Yes, yes, man. She had been terminally ill for some time, according to her aunt. Obviously she knew she was dying, but she was hoping she would live long enough to go to India with me to perform the marriage rites and give birth before dying, but she lost out, sadly. They're taking me to see the body, though. Where's Mallam Busanga's medicine? I will need to be fast!

Ato brings the small phial containing Mallam Busanga's concoction from his pocket.

They retreat to the corner of the building.

Kofi quickly unzips and applies some of the medicine to his penis, and then he drinks some of the disgusting, nauseating and bitter medicine.

Watching his squeezed-up face, Ato shakes his head sympathetically.

ATO

Oh, my paddy! You're suffering too much!

The nurse appears and beckons to Kofi.

Kofi follows him, and he is taken to the mortuary.

The nurse introduces him to another man.

He is a French man called ROBERT, who nods as the nurse explains the situation to him.

ROBERT

Come with me, Mr. Fiko.

KOFI

The name is actually Kofi. Mrs. Geeta has never been able to pronounce it right, and has always called me Fiko.

ROBERT

(laughing)

You can't blame her now, can you? You Ghanaians have some names, always a mouthful! Like Akiiiampong, Yibuuuwa, Atopadi, Akiiaa, Kiiipodo..hahahahaaa! Always a mouthful! But Miss Sajili is right here! Tragic really, so tragic! Young girl, full of life! Heard you two were going to get married.

KOFI

Yes, sir.

ROBERT

So sad. But hey, look up and keep your head up, okay? Life’s a bitch sometimes but you gotta move on, seen?

He takes Kofi through a series of corridors until they come to a steel door which he opens with three keys and pulls it open.

KOFI

She's in there?

ROBERT

Yeah, yeah! I was working on them. She's at the far end, I think. Hurry up, dude, okay? This is not normally allowed but seeing she was your fiancée and you need to say goodbye, I'm allowing this. Please be fast!

Kofi steps into the room and comes to a halt with a sudden gasp of fear.

The room is large and cold!

It is painted white, and it has a myriad of tables and slides and gadgets.

There is also a strong smell of disinfectants and deodorising agents in the room.

What however catches Kofi's eyes is the long metallic bench against one wall in front of him!

There are about ten corpses on the bench!

They are all naked!

There are four men, and all the rest are women!

There is one black female and one black male, but all the rest are foreigners!

There are name tags tied to their toes!

Sajili is lying at the far right, the last in the row of dead bodies!

Kofi looks around nervously.

He licks his lips.

He sees that the metallic door has an inner bolt and he quickly pushes the bolt in, locking it so that no one can come inside.

He is shivering as he moves towards the naked body of Sajili.

Her face is so dead, but he cannot deny the incredible figure she has.

She had known she was terminally ill!

Why the hell hadn't she told him?

He is so sad to see her dead, and sorry too, but deep down he feels a tiny spark of relief.

But it is not time to brood now!

He approaches the dead body of Sajili, keeping his eyes off the other corpses as much as possible.

Season 1 Episode 27

Episode Title: The Ghost Banger

Warning:

Restricted Content: 20 Years +

Coarse Language. Nudity. Sex. Violence.

aaronhaven.blogspot.com

The corpse next to Sajili's is a huge, muscular, oriental with great tattoos on his body.

It looks as if his eyes are not well closed, and Kofi looks away quickly, goose bumps forming on his body, trying hard not be afraid.

Dead bodies have always freaked him out.

KOFI

(fearfully)

Oh, dear Lord! Help me!

He is trembling as he spreads Sajili's legs open and pulls her towards him.

He quickly pulls down his zipper, opens his fly, and fumbles his flaccid penis out.

He is almost crying with fear, frustration and stress as he prepares to dip Sajili.

And then the head of the Chinese corpse turns slowly, and Kofi gasps with fear and moves backwards quickly!

He stays like that for some time, looking out for any movement from the Chinese corpse, but it remains still.

Heart thumping with great fear, Kofi slowly moves forward again and grabs Sajili's waist, and just as he begins to move forward the eyes of the Chinese corpse fly open and he looks at Kofi with fury.

This time a scream of fear emits from Kofi's lips as he moves back quickly, his heart beating violently with terror, his body shaking, goose pimples huge on his body!

Again he stays like that for a long time, staring at the Chinese corpse, his teeth almost beginning to chatter, and yet the body does not move.

Kofi shuts his eyes tightly and fights for control.

He doesn't need to do much, really.

All he has to do is put in his dick to the full and withdraw, that is all, and he will be free.

He will go and pay Mallam Busanga, and then he will marry Akweley and live the rest of his life in happiness.

All he has to do is be cool, gather courage, and just dip Sajili's corpse!

Kofi moves forward again.

He quickly grabs Sajili's thighs and pulls her forward.

With his free hand he takes hold of his penis and manages to meander it into Sajili, and that is when a very huge groans emits from the throat of the Chinese corpse...

CHINESE CORPSE

Chuchuuuuffuuuuuuuu....

Kofi screams loudly, totally out of control now as his fear escalates!

A portion of his brain tells him that it is probably just trapped air emitting from the throat of the corpse, and that there is nothing to be afraid of.

However, the other part of his brain is terrified and will just not listen!

Kofi is in hysterics, gripped by uncontrollable terror!

As he moves backwards frantically,  Sajili's body, now very close to the edge of the metallic table and precariously unbalanced, also comes off.

Kofi trips and falls heavily to the floor, and Sajili's body falls on him, still with his penis in her!

Kofi screams loudly and turns Sajili's body over, still screaming, and now they are in the missionary position with Kofi on top!

And that is when a door at the far end of the mortuary opens!

Kofi has not noticed that there is another door at the far end of the room!

The truth of the matter is that some journalists have visited the famous DIDI-FLON CLINIC to cover the ten years anniversary of the famous hospital, and they are being given a tour of the facility.

They have now come to the mortuary to check it up. They are being led by three doctors from the hospital.

There are about ten journalists, and they have entered through a door Kofi hasn't noticed when he bolted the front door!

The doctors and the journalists see him on top of Sajili screaming!

They do not know that it is a scream of acute fear and terror!

They think it is a scream of ecstasy, that he is having an orgasm from making love to the corpse.

This is because he is lying on the dead body, still with his limp penis inside her, and screaming!

They look at him with shock, horror, fear, revulsion and absolute hatred!

Some of the journalists turn their recording cameras on him instantly!

One of the doctors, a huge black man, looks at Kofi with incredible revulsion!

BLACK DOCTOR

(nauseated)

Why, you sick bastard!

He takes three steps forward and kicks Kofi in the temple!

Kofi collapses on top of Sajili's body... unconscious!

Kofi’s life has just taken a dive… into a most terrible nightmare!

Time passes in a blur.

Kofi Kuntukununku is too zoned out by acute stress, pain and humiliation to keep track of what is going on.

First he had woken up in a hospital bed handcuffed, with a police man sitting at the foot of the bed to prevent him from escaping.

And then he had been transferred to the police station and slammed into a cell.

Images and videos of his supposed indecent sexual assault on the corpse of an Indian beauty have been slammed on television and newspaper headline news, and splattered all over social media.

The name given to him now is THE GHOST BANGER.

His humiliation had been sky-high.

Tears have become as common as breath to Kofi.

He had quickly been arraigned before court, and the Judge, a rather severe-looking man called AKWASI BUABASAH, had ordered a complete psychological profiling on Kofi Kuntu, despite Kofi's cries that he is sane and does not have any mental challenges.

The psychological evaluation of his mental state is to be performed by Doctor BOBO TOTOBI, Director of the ADADA ASYLUM.

The police are ordered to take Kofi to the institution to be evaluated.

On the morning he is supposed to go, two visitors come to see him.

They are Laryea Odamten and his daughter Akweley Odamten.

Kofi is not allowed to see them close up.

Instead, he is taken to a room which has a glass partition separating it, and he has to speak to Akweley through a telephone.

Akweley is wearing a simple sky-blue dress that accentuates her incredible figure and highlights her amazing colour.

Her face, however, is puffy from the amount of tears she has shed.

Her eyes are puffed up and red-rimmed as she sits down, holding a handkerchief sodden with tears.

Kofi picks up the receiver and puts it to his ear.

Akweley, her father standing primly behind her, hesitates for a moment, and then she picks up the receiver at her side of the glass partition.

Tears fall down her face again as she glares at him, and when she speaks her voice is filled with venom, pain and bitterness.

AKWELEY

(hissing venomously)

You... you... you! You bastard, K.K! How could you humiliate and destroy me like this? A corpse? You fuck corpses, you damn demon?

The revulsion on her face brings tears to Kofi's eyes immediately.

KOFI

Please, love, listen-

AKWELEY

(hissing)

Shut the fuck up, you damn evil boy! It is for demonic purposes, right? The same powers you used to blind me to your real character, isn't it?

KOFI

(weeping)

No, no, no, no, Akweley! Love, just give me a chance to explain, okay? It is not as you think, please, please, please! I-

And that is when Laryea Odamten leans forward and speaks near his daughter's ear so that Kofi hears everything.

MR. ODAMTEN

(venomously)

Abooooooowa! You crazy freak! The thing that pains me the most is that when you go and put your lousy penis into the vagina of corpses then you come and put it inside my daughter! Abooooooowa wate!

Maybe the thought of what her father described sinks into Akweley's visionary projections, because she turns her head suddenly away from the receiver and vomits on the floor.

She stands up quickly, wipes her mouth with the handkerchief, and then throws Kofi's promissory ring on the counter.

She leans forward and speaks with tears streaming down her face.

AKWELEY

I don't ever want to see you again, Kofi! It is over between us, do you hear? I'm sure you're going to prison, and I just want you to know that I won't wait for you! It is over, Kofi Kuntu! It is finished between us! I’m going to find myself another man, a good Christian man, to marry! I’m going to forget you, and I’m going to curse the memory of you forever, you damn sakawa boy!

She runs from the room.

Kofi bangs his fist against the glass as his own tears stream like a flood.

KOFI

(heartbreakingly)

Akwe! Akwe! Akwe! My love! My booboo! My heart! Please don't do this to me! Please, wait! Please listen!

Mr. Odamten grabs the receiver and speaks viciously into it.

Mr. ODAMTEN

I've fired you, Kofi! Aboooooowa! I've taken the car back too, Kofi, abooooowa! The thing that pains me the most is that when you put lousy penis inside the rotting vaginas of the corpses then you come and put it inside my daughter! Abooooowa! If I see you anywhere near her again, I swear I'll personally decapitate you and cut off your sakawa penis, you crazy sick boy! Aboooooowa!

He turns to leave, but one of the policemen blocks his way.

POLICEMAN

Hey, who's going to clean the vomit, sir?

Laryea Odamten takes out his wallet, peels off several notes of fifty cedis, and shoves them into the cop's hand, and then he follows his daughter out.

Episode Title: Meeting The Eye

Warning:

Restricted Content: 20 Years +

Coarse Language. Nudity. Sex. Violence.

aaronhaven.blogspot.com

Another policeman behind Kofi steps forward and clamps handcuffs on him.

KOFI

Hey! Be gentle!

POLICEMAN

Aboooooowa! Time for your madness scan, my boy. I like the way that man says the abooooowa! But seriously, you fool paa o! Ahhhhh! You get that beautiful girl all to yourself and you prefer to fuck corpses? Abooooowa! Olu waaa denkye!

And that is why, two hours later, Kofi finds himself in an ultra-modern EVALUATION HALL at the ADADA ASYLUM.

He is strapped into a comfortable chair with restraints on his wrists and legs.

He is surrounded by a lot of machines and beeping readers.

He is left alone in the room for a while, and then the door opens and she comes in.

She is the most beautiful girl he has ever seen.

She is dressed in the white outfit of a nurse, and has a beautiful white cap on her head.

She is not a big girl, but she has a most beautiful figure, rounded to perfection. His eyes go to her legs, and he notices how well-formed they are with a sleek, classy look. Her feet are encased in low-heeled canvas shoes.

She is chocolate-skinned with an oval face.

Tender lips, a quaint nose, rosy cheeks and well-shaped eyebrows!

She is so lovely, so ethereal, so perfect!

She is holding a clipper with a sheet of paper on it, and she takes a pen and sits opposite Kofi.

There is something oddly familiar about her, and Kofi squints as he tries to recollect her.

She asks his name and age, speaking professionally, but he notices that her lips are compressed, an indication that she finds him unpalatable.

He answers her automatically, trying to recollect why she looks so familiar.

She asks another question that Kofi barely hears, and she looks up at him with her eyebrows arched, and then it slips into place like jangling of coins!

Finally he realizes where he knows her.

KOFI

(surprised)

You! Ahaaaa! Yes! You're the eye!

She looks at him quizzically.

NURSE

What?

KOFI

You! Yes! You're the eye, aren't you?

NURSE

The eye? What're you talking about?

KOFI

Your Whatsapp DP. Your display picture. It used to be an eye. Just an eye!

She sits back with an intake of breath, her beautiful face displeased immediately.

NURSE

Yes, and it is still an eye. How did you know that?

KOFI

(smiling)

Oh, my friend is Ato Sey. He and you are in this Whatsapp group, what's the name? I forgot the name of the group.

She nods slowly as understanding dawns on her face.

NURSE

Oh, the Golgotha Church Youth Group. Yes. Ato Sey is your friend?

KOFI

(nodding)

Yes, my best friend. Yes, he mentioned your name even. Maa Abena Nyantie.

MAA ABENA

(displeased)

Yes. You seem to know a lot about me, Mr. Kuntukununku. Tell me, this friend, Ato… he's been sending me a lot of messages. We talk occasionally. Does he also, you know...

Her voice trails off, and Kofi feels sad and humiliated and so down all of a sudden. Tears come to his eyes as he looks away from her.

KOFI

(chokingly)

No, he doesn't go for corpses.

She looks abashed immediately, almost shamefaced, and she glows with embarrassment.

MAA ABENA

I... I'm sorry, didn't mean it to come out like that!

Before Kofi can answer, the door opens, and a tall, grim-looking man with glasses and a great moustache walks in.

He is dressed in a three-piece black suit and shiny boots. His hair is a shock of afro grey, and it is parted in the side.

He looks so ancient that Kofi is not surprised when he whips out a chain watch from his pocket and flicks it open to look at the time.

Kofi would not have been surprised if the ancient man had brought out a monocle next and fixed it to his eye.

He comes forward slowly and takes the clip from Maa Abena.

He reads it for a moment, and then he nods once and stands looking at Kofi for a long time.

DIRECTOR

Thank you, nurse. You're excused. I'll take it from here.

Maa Abena stands up, looks at Kofi, and then she walks like rhythm in motion out of the door.

Kofi looks imploringly at Director Bobo Dovlo, and he puts on his best expression of innocence.

KOFI

(imploringly)

Doc, please, I'm not mad. It has all been a very great misunderstanding! If you will allow me, I can explain everything that happened, please.

The doctor nods and slowly lowers himself into the chair Maa Abena has vacated. He adjusts it and leans backward slowly with a most satisfied look on his face.

DIRECTOR

By all means, young man. Kindly explain to me why you preferred to have orgasms with dead Indian women.

KOFI

(sadly)

You see, there lies all the sad misconception about the whole incident.

DIRECTOR

Please, by all means, I'm all ears.

Feeling that his destiny lies in the hands of Doctor Bobo Dovlo, Kofi begins from the day Ato Sey handed him the Jamaican Stone to how he had gone to the morgue to dip Sajili.

The director listens to him without interruption.

Finally Kofi is done, and he looks at the man, seeking some compassion on that impassive face.

KOFI

So you see, that's exactly what happened, sir. If you ask my friend Ato, he will collaborate everything!

Season 1 Episode 29

Episode Title: Bobo Time

Warning:

Restricted Content: 20 Years +

Coarse Language. Nudity. Sex. Violence.

aaronhaven.blogspot.com

DIRECTOR

Oh, yes, he has already done that.

KOFI

(excitedly)

He has? Ato has spoken to you about it?

DIRECTOR

Oh, yes. He came here early in the morning when he heard I was going to do the psychological evaluation. Actually he told me the same story you've just narrated, and I'm prone to believe that indeed, you two have really told me the truth!

KOFI

(sobbing)

Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, sir! I'm so grateful!

The man slowly readjusts his chair, and it moves upward slowly until he is sitting straight and staring at Kofi.

His face is impassive, and there is a certain calculating look in his eyes that Kofi finds very uncomfortable indeed.

DIRECTOR

And, if I may ask, why are you thanking me, and why are you being grateful?

KOFI

(carefully)

I'm thankful that you believe my story, and based on that I'm certain you're going to declare me of sound mind, and for that I'm grateful in advance, because your verdict will exonerate me from this whole mess.

Director Bobo Dovlo smiles in a sinister way and shakes his head.

DIRECTOR

Yes, I believe you, young man, and I know you're not insane.

KOFI

Thank you so much, sir. May God bless you.

The man stands up and enters another office at the far end of the hall.

He spends about thirty minutes in there, and when he finally comes out he is holding a sealed envelope.

He stands in front of Kofi and gives his sinister smile again.

DIRECTOR

This is the report I'm going to give to the Judge, young man. It states that after observing you and doing several tests, I have come to the professional diagnosis that you're mentally unhinged and a danger to, not only yourself, but to the society. It also states categorically that if you're not admitted to the ADADA ASYLUM for treatment, there is a hundred percent probable chance that you will kill human beings within the next few days.

Kofi shoots out of the chair with sudden horror, but the restraints across his chest, wrists and ankles tighten painfully, drawing him back.

KOFI

(terrified)

Wh-what d-did you s-say, Doc?

DIRECTOR

(smiling menacingly)

You heard me. Oh, yes, you heard me! I’ve officially declared you mentally insane, a menace to yourself and society. I’ve officially sentenced you to spend the rest of your natural life cooped up in this asylum, and there is no escape for you!

KOFI

(horrified)

You're going to... to lie I'm insane and k-keep m-me here as a patient?

DIRECTOR

(nodding with a smile)

Exaaaaaatally, as an Asian friend of mine will say.

KOFI

(struggling)

But why? SIR, WHY? WHY WOULD YOU DO SUCH A WICKED AND DASTARDLY THING?

Doctor Bobo throws back his head then and laughs harshly.

DIRECTOR

Oh, this is sweet! Little man, do you remember a certain woman named Naana? Naana Basiwaa?

Suddenly a tight knot of fear slams into Kofi's belly!

Madam Naana Basiwaa!

Yes, Kofi remembers her!

Shortly after he had been employed by Mr. Laryea Odamten, the elderly woman had come to the office to see Mr. Laryea. Kofi had been asked to drive her to one of the sites where she wanted to purchase a house.

Two weeks later, Kofi and Madam Naana had started an affair!

She had had money, and she had taken a really good fancy to him. She had been far older, but she had had a good body and had been very voracious in bed!

It had been much later, about a year later, when Kofi had decided that he had had enough of her.

He had broken off with her in the house she had purchased. She had cried and begged him not to leave her, but Kofi had had enough of her.

He had left her, and had not heard from her again.

And now this Director has given a medical report that will condemn Kofi to the asylum because of his involvement with Madam Naana Basiwaa?

KOFI

(horrified)

Yes, I... I knew her, sir. B-but wh-what's t-that got to do w-with me?

DIRECTOR

(with a nasty smile)

For starters, she was married to me. After you seduced her, she refused to make love to me again, for a whole year, and she wanted a divorce, which I wouldn't grant her because I loved her very much! She wasn’t working! All the money she showered on you, the gifts she bought for you, the nice places she took you, the hefty expenses she incurred were all coming from my pocket! I was crying each night, begging her to stop and be with me, but she wouldn’t! She tortured my soul, because of you!

KOFI

(terrified)

Ohhhhhhhhh! Ohhhhhhhh, sir! I'm soooo sorry! I didn't know she was your wife! I broke off with her!

DIRECTOR

(insanely shouting)

YES, YOU BROKE OFF WITH HER, AFTER SHE HAD WASTED MY MONEY ON YOU! AFTER YOU HAD HAD ENOUGH OF HER! SHE THEN CONFESSED TO ME AND SAID HOW SORRY SHE WAS FOR BEING UNFAITHFUL TO ME! I WAS SO MAD! ALTHOUGH SHE PROMISED IT WOULDN'T HAPPEN AGAIN AND SHE WOULD STAY WTIH ME FOREVER, I HATED HER! I DIVORCED HER, AND SHE COMMITTED SUICIDE TWO MONTHS LATER! AND I’VE BEEN IN PAIN EVER SINCE! YOU ROBBED ME OF A WIFE, YOUNG MAN, AND ROBBED MY CHILDREN OF A MOTHER! OH, YOU’RE SO GOING TO PAY, KOFI KUNTUKUNUNKU! YOU DON’T KNOW HOW LONG I’VE WAITED FOR A CHANCE LIKE THIS! YOU’RE GOING TO EXPERIENCE MY WRATH, MY FURY, AND MY VENGEANCE!

KOFI

(horrified)

Ohhhhhhhhhh! Sir, sir, sir! I'm sorry! So sorry! Oh, I didn't know that! Please, sir, I beg of you! Don't do this, okay? I was young and stupid!

DIRECTOR

(fiercely)

I don't give a fuck! I had planned for years, YEARS, of how to seek revenge on you, but there was nothing I could DO until you decided to fuck a dead Indian woman! Oh, Kofi Kuntu, I'm so glad you're here! You're going to spend the rest of your life here, and you're going to die a slow painful death here, that I promise you! You're going to have a funky time here!

Kofi struggles futilely in the chair, his eyes bulging with terror as he realizes the terrible end the man has planned for him.

KOFI

(shrieking)

No, no, no, no! You can't do this! Nooooo! I'm sorry! Oh, please, don't do this to meeeee...

Director  then takes a syringe out of his pocked and with a sudden movement he stabs it into Kofi’s neck and depresses the plunger.

DIRECTOR

(insanely)

Well, I've just given you an injection with a hallucinatory effect. It will enter your bloodstream in moment, and render you temporarily insane. Of course I've taken the liberty to invite members of the press and the Judge here. After they see how the drug will make you behave, they'll believe my report! Welcome to ADADA, Mr. Kuntu! Thought you could fuck fuck my wife rough rough for free, huh? Your mother! You’re going to taste pepper, my friend!

Season 1 Episode 30

Episode Title: Behaving Badly

Warning:

Restricted Content: 20 Years +

Coarse Language. Nudity. Sex. Violence.

aaronhaven.blogspot.com

Kofi Kuntu feels his tongue getting heavy, and his sight blurring.

DIRECTOR

(softly)

Say you will kill somebody, Kofi.

KOFI

(weeping, scared)

You bad man! You bad, bad man! I won’t say I will kill! You’re so bad that’s why your wife left you!

DIRECTOR

Say it, Kofi! Say you will kill somebody!

KOFI

I won’t say it! I will kill somebody! Nooooo, I won’t say it, you fucking Ayigbe bastard! I will kill somebody! I will kiiiiiiilllll somebody! I will kill somebody! I will kill! I won’t kill! No, no, no, I won’t say it! I will kill! I will kill and kill and kill and kill somebody paaa!!

Director Bobo Dovlo smiles to himself, and then he quietly leaves the room.

Kofi begins to see some round faces on the ceiling that look like penis heads wearing X'mas hats, and then he begins to giggle insanely!

Almost thirty minutes later, the door opens, and a sad-looking Director Bobo Dovlo enters with Judge Awasi Buabasah and some reporters.

By this time Kofi is totally insane, and he is laughing uproariously as tears stream down his face.

The judge, quite taken aback, looks at him with shock.

JUDGE BUABASAH

Goodness me, what's wrong with him?

DIRECTOR

(sadly)

He's now totally insane, sir. I told you that in the report. He's become a danger to himself and other people. He can kill!

KOFI

(laughing)

Say I will kill somebody! I won’t say it! I will kill and kill and kill you all! I see a lot of penises on the ceiling wearing Christmas hats! Hey, Papa Judge, you look like your wife's steenkeen vaginant tor, tor, tooor! Mallam Busanga, he says I should cut off your head and stick it into your anulus! Heeeeeey, did you see Corporal Tiiiiiiiiinga's penis? It looks like a tree! He's going to fuck Sajili with it! I will kill all of you, every one of you! Where's Akweley and her toto father? Abooooooooowa Laryea Odamten! I'll kill him too! My penis is not functioning because Sajili put a password on it! Hahahahahaaa! Did you hear that? I have a password on my dick! I will fuck all your anulus with my dick and bring out the shitu in your anulus! Heeeeey, Heeeeey, Heeeeey! Sawaaaaa gbontos! I wanna kill! Kill! Eeeeeeeei, Bobo Dovlo, your name sounds like shit! I fucked your wife's toto toto totoooooo! I made it go like pheeeeee pheeeeeee pheeeeeee! Kpa kpa kpa kpa kpa kpa kpa tofuuuuuuuu! Bla K, Bla K, bla Kaaaaaayyyyyyyy...

The reporters are taking pictures!

The Judge turns away with disgust.

JUDGE BUABASAH

The boy remains here, doctor. Do what you deem fit to take care of him. I'll issue my verdict tomorrow, and you will officially receive my verdict to remand him here! He needs to be cured of whatever madness is afflicting him. Such a fine young lad, what a pity! It’s the sakawa things they do, you know, dabbling in so much evil. Such a waste, such a pity! I hope he gets well you know. He’s such a fine lad, reminds me of my son.

DiRECTOR

(wiping tears)

So sad! Such a fine young boy! I'll do my best for him! I’ll try and get him cured very soon, Your Honour!

KOFI

I will kill you, Your Honour! Abooooowa, I’m not your son! I eat the toto of the mad woman! Judge, your face like atopa! Your legs like Panadol! Your waist like Lucozade, Judge. Doctor Bobo Dovlo! Your name sounds like vagina! I fucked your wife Naana! She likes it from behind and when she’s coming she shouts ahooooooo, ahooooooo, ahooooooo! And then she tries to bite me! That’s why I broke off with her , you know! She bites! All the time she bites! Ah, small money so you should bite me rough rough? Nonsense! Eiiiiiii, I see penis heads on the ceiling! I see vaginant on your faces! Sajili has taken my penis password to the grave! Mallam Busanga is azaaa class one. Eeeei, Ato Sey, your head like Instagram! Corporal Tiiiiiiinga, your tiiiiiinga, you hear? Your bula like Director Dovlo Bobo’s head! Bobo Dovlo, aboooooowa man! I will kill somebody today, I swear! I don’t know whether you’re Director Bobo or Boobs. Bobo means vagina, do you know that? Laryea Odamten, aboooooowa! I will kill you all!

The people in the room turn and leave, their faces very sad.

Once outside, the Director addresses the press.

Finally, when they leave, he calls some of his nurses.

They can all hear Kofi screaming behind the closed door.

MAA ABENA

(concerned)

Sir? What's wrong with Mr. Kuntu?

DIRECTOR

I'm afraid his mind finally gave in, nurse. Mr. Nii Lin, kindly coordinate the transfer of this boy to the institution. Send him to D-BLOCK. Let him be Baluu's room mate.

NII LIN

(horrified)

Baluu? Did you say Baluu, sir?

DIRECTOR

Yes, you heard right.

NII LIN

But Baluu will kill him, sir, on sight! You know it, sir! We have other empty rooms, a lot of them inside the D-Block. We can even send him to the General Ward, sir, with all the other patients. There are a lot of beds there too.

MAA ABENA

(scared)

Sir, surely you can’t send this new patient to Baluu’s room! Baluu will break every bone in his body. Surely, we can't keep him in a cell with Baluu, sir!

DIRECTOR

Stop challenging me this instant, both of you! Go in there for him and send him to Baluu’s room!! NOW!! I’ll go with you to make sure everything is alright! His diagnosis is bad, and he needs to spend more time with someone with dominant attributes like Baluu in order to suppress his spiking hallucinatory concepts about killing. So stop questioning me and get to your duties immediately!

The nurses leave the office of the Director with various looks of anger, especially on the parts Nii Lin and Maa Abena.

NII LIN

My God! Why is the Director doing this? What is he thinking? He just signed Kofi's death warrant! Damn, Baluu hasn’t stopped talking about the man who lied to him and sent him to the bathroom. That’s all he talks about nowadays! If he sees Kofi again, trust me, he will rip his head off!

Maa Abena looks at him thoughtfully.

MAA ABENA

You're speaking as if you know something I don't, Nii.

NII LIN

Oh, sorry, sorry. There must be something wrong, you know. Kofi never struck me as the dangerous type. Damn, he was cool when they brought him, and there was absolutely nothing wrong with him!

MAA ABENA

Oh, so you know him.

NII LIN

Yes, he's a friend. He's a friend of my school mate.

MAA ABENA

I see. Quite nice. I spoke to him too, you know. I did his profiling. Quite a handsome young man, and I wondered how he managed to get himself into such a mess. We have a mutual friend, you know. It came up during the profiling. I don’t really believe what the Director is saying is true, though.

NII LIN

There must be something wrong. Something really wrong. Please, wait for me, okay. I will go and get Nurse Elsie Ansah. She’ll know what to do. She’s the only one who can stand up to the Director because she’s the senior nurse here, and she takes no nonsense from anyone.

MAA ABENA

Oh, then please do, okay? You know I’m new here and I didn’t want to get into the bad books of the Director. But if there’s someone who can help please go and get here, please. Otherwise Baluu will kill that boy!

Nii nodded and went in such of the senior nurse.

And, inside the evaluating hall, Director Bobo Dovlo is sitting in front of Kofi and laughing his heart out whilst Kofi screams and screams and flail in the chair wildly like a fish out of water.

KOFI

Iphone penis! Samsung vagina! Tekno buttocks...eiiiiii what a telephone whore! Etwe bofu, Etwe kpotiii, etwe frimfraaaaaam! Penis Vagina, Vagina Penis, atopa Atopa yorrr! Ei, tooor tooooor, toooooor. Your Penisa into the vaginant of the mad woman, Mallam Busanga yooooor! Penis tree Tiiiinga! Jamaican Stone Ato Sey! Mr. Laryea Aboooooowa Odamten! Akweley the maidservant! Sajili Indian corpse! Yasmeen Anulus Anal Slyder! I will kiiiiillll somebody today! Baluuuuuuuu your mother!!

And Director Bobo Dovlo laughs and laughs and can't stop laughing.

He has never been so happy!

Vengeance, indeed, is best served cold, he thinks.

END OF SEASON 1.

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